Poop Hammock

My friend, Jen, told me that this would happen and I sort of believed her, but thought, it can't be that bad. But it is. I could write a blog post every week about poo. I mostly restrain myself but this one had to be shared. Micah says I should get used to poo because we have a boy and he will forever think poo is funny (as evidenced by Micah himself). And if you can't laugh about it, you will cry and I just don't have that much energy.

Here's the story:
A couple days ago I went to the grocery store. I have been trying to get the hang of going to the grocery store with just me and Elijah but it can be challenging. We've decided that wearing the baby on these excersions is much easier because the carseat takes up most of the cart, leaving little room for groceries. So I carry him in my sling atthe grocery store. You can probably see where this is heading. I knew he hadn't pooped yet that day or the day before so he was due for a blow out. However, I thought, it will take less than an hour at the grocery store, what could happen? Low and behold, not 15 minutes into our shopping trip did I hearing a massive fart and looked down to discover that the diaper had leaked poo into my sling and I now had a baby and some nasty green poo strapped to the front of my body. I thought, "I could go change his diaper and clothes, but I would still have to put him back in the poopy sling when I'm done to finish shopping." So I run through the store, trying to finish up my shopping before he realizes he is a mess and starts crying. Luckily, I make it through with no crying (I think he fell asleep, that was clearly an exhausting effort). I felt a little embarrassed when the person in front of me at the check out wanted to peek into the sling to see my baby. They got a little more than they bargined for because it is not a pleasant smell either.

Then I had to change his diaper and clothes in the backseat of the car during which the poo got everywhere. I mostly kept it off the seats with the changing pad but I'm pretty sure I used a whole packet of wipes to clean it up. With Elijah's dislike for diaper changes, he was screaming bloody murder the whole time, which made the process even more enjoyable. And there was this guy who was just standing there kind of behind me and I could not for the life of me figure out why. I got kind of nervous that maybe he was going to rob me or steal my baby. Then I felt like a Class A paranoid moron when I realized that he was parked next to me and he was waiting for me to close my door so he could get by and get in his car. Sheesh! He was very nice about it when I apologized for holding him up.

Like I said, I'm trying to keep the poop stories to a minimum, but that one I just had to share.